The Black Forest

5706. Submitted on 2017/1/23, 10.01 h by Hank:

Gefeliciteerd Dave

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There is 1 comment to this post (by Jasper on 2017/1/23, 10.26 h).

5705. Submitted on 2017/1/22, 17.42 h by Arduenn:

Sean Spicer is boos. Erg boos.

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Jullie moeten allemaal je muil houden.

Na enkele maanden stevig inhakken op de crooked media, de White House press room verbouwen tot Twitter-studio, en CNN-reporters publiekelijk uitschelden voor verspreiders van fake news was het de beurt aan Sean Spicer, perschef van het Witte Huis, zijn eerste hour of power. Roodaanlopend foeterde hij de aanwezigen uit met zijn obsessie voor kijkcijfertjes, voorzien met de nodige halve waarheden en andere flame bait. Kijkcijfertjes, zeg je? Nou, boeie. Ware het niet dat het de allereerste pers-statement was in het Trump-presidentschap. (Nog steeds boeie, natuurlijk, maar de toon is gezet.)

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#spicerfacts!

[Update] Mika boos op boze Spicer's hostage video. Ondertussen beginnen de memes binnen te stromen.

[Update 2] We kunnen allemaal weer rustig slapen. Het waren geen onwaarheden, maar 'alternatieve feiten', volgens Trump-goedprater Kelly-Ann Conway, die verder stelt dat de mainstream media (MSM) deze alternatieve feiten maar heeft te slikken, omdat anders de prettige relatie van de Trump-regering met de MSM in het geding zal komen.

There are 5 comments to this post (the latest by Arduenn on 2017/1/23, 10.24 h).

5704. Submitted on 2017/1/22, 17.00 h by Arduenn:

Zondag 22 januari 2017

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Uw boswachter zegt: "De poep is realistisch aan het worden, negers."

De dag dat de Zwarte Bos PHP interpreter ineens besloot om van dynamic naar static typing te switchen—wat betreft het Unix time stamp-formaat dan. 'long' wilde de interpreter ineens als 2e parameter in de date()-functie, terwijl daar een 'string' werd gegeven. En 'long' bestáát niet eens, als PHP variable type. De boswachter moest ineens een '(integer)' typecasten om van die vervelende foutmelding af te komen. Het is vast de schuld van de Russen (of worden wij geacht te denken dat het de Russen waren).

[Update] Niks aan de hand, mensen. Defcom 4 terug naar 3. Ome Deef had met z'n tengels aan de admin-knop gezeten. (Maar ik had wél geblazen!)

[Update 2] Op deze zondag is het ook ouderwets trollentrollen bij die rooie rukberen van Sargasso.

There are 0 comments to this post.

5703. Submitted on 2017/1/21, 20.44 h by Arduenn:

De Bromanceochrone

There is 1 comments to this post (by Dave on 2017/1/22, 8.11 h).

5702. Submitted on 2017/1/20, 18.48 h by Arduenn:

Grote jongen

"Pappa, hoe schrijf je de 'oe'?"

"Met een 'oh' en een 'eh', jongen."

"p…"

"oe…"

*gegiechel*

"p…"

There are 0 comments to this post.

5701. Submitted on 2017/1/19, 13.44 h by Arduenn:

Over lekken gesproken… Deel 2

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@SamEsmail, je script voor seizoen 3 is gelekt.

Mr. Robot, seizoen 3 start in de zomer pas, ^&@#%$.

There are 0 comments to this post.

5700. Submitted on 2017/1/17, 12.35 h by Arduenn:

@realPOTUS

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Just call me Pepe.

There are 2.25 comments to this post (the latest by Arduenn on 2017/1/22, 17.04 h).

5699. Submitted on 2017/1/13, 17.10 h by Arduenn:

Het inauguratielied voor 20 januari

There are 2 comments to this post (the latest by Arduenn on 2017/1/14, 10.14 h).

5698. Submitted on 2017/1/13, 11.08 h by Arduenn:

King Arduenn's Rewritten Bible (version 2.0)

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1. In the Beginning, God created the Heaven and the Earth. 2. The lands and the seas and the plants and the creatures upon it, created He, and Adam and Eve, after His own likeness. 3. In six days, He created all these, but this time He left out that damnable Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, as to save Himself a lot of trouble. 4. And He saw that it was much, much better. 5. The end.

There are 0 comments to this post.

5697. Submitted on 2017/1/13, 7.30 h by Arduenn:

A message to my doomed colleagues in the American media

Sterk stuk van een Russische journalist die door de bullshit van Poetin heen prikt en zijn ervaringen deelt met zijn Amerikaanse collega's, omdat het ernaar uitziet dat het in Amerika dezelfde kant opgaat.

"A mainstay of Putin’s press conferences is, of course, softball questions. Which also happen to be Putin’s favorites. Mr President, is there love in your heart? Who you will be celebrating New Year’s Eve with? What’s your favorite food? “Questions” of this sort, sure to melt Putin’s heart, typically come from women working for small regional publications. A subtype of this is also statements-as-questions, but from people who really love the man on the stage and will bob their head and look at the stage adoringly and say something to the tune of “Mr President, do you agree that a lot of media are treating you unfairly?”"

"Another type of softball questions is hyperlocal issues that a president isn’t even supposed to be dealing with. Mr President, our road is full of potholes and local authorities aren’t doing anything about it. Mr President, our tap is leaking. Mr President, how about a chess club in our village. This is a real opportunity for him to shine. He will scold the local authorities and order to have a new road built. All of this, of course, has been choreographed well in advance."

"Also, some of these people really love him and will meet his every answer with enthusiastic applause. There will be people from publications that exist for no other reason than heaping fawning praise on him and attacking his enemies. But there will also be one token critic who will be allowed to ask a “sharp” question, only to be drowned in a copious amount of bullshit, and the man on the stage will always be the winner (“See? I respect the media and free speech”)."

"This man owns you. He understands perfectly well that he is the news. You can’t ignore him. You’re always playing by his rules — which he can change at any time without any notice. You can’t — in Putin’s case — campaign to vote him out of office. Your readership is dwindling because ad budgets are shrinking — while his ratings are soaring, and if you want to keep your publication afloat, you’ll have to report on everything that man says as soon as he says it, without any analysis or fact-checking, because 1) his fans will not care if he lies to their faces; 2) while you’re busy picking his lies apart, he’ll spit out another mountain of bullshit and you’ll be buried under it."

Het hele verhaal hier: https://medium.com/@alexey__kovalev/message-t o-american-media-from-russia-6e2e76eeae77#.ih r9bzdk8

There are 3 comments to this post (the latest by Choco on 2017/1/15, 13.29 h).

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